Satirical Stories Fan Gifts

'No you do a great job. I'm letting you go because I don't like your cell phone ringtone.'

'Hon! I'm home from the bank!'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"You know, there are other emojis."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

The Snarky District

Parade of Businessmen

How am I abducting?

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

On the brink.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.