Satirical Stories Fan Gifts

'No you do a great job. I'm letting you go because I don't like your cell phone ringtone.'

'Hon! I'm home from the bank!'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What's normal?

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

How am I abducting?

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Parade of Businessmen

On the brink.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

The Snarky District