News Satire Fan Gifts

Is it true Santa Clause is holding Rudy hostage? Of course not. Where'd you hear such a thing. On Candorville.com. It's a real news site, not a fake news site. Billy, Billy, Billy. There's no such thing as "real news." "Real news" is a fairy tale parents tell their kids so their childhoods will be a little more magical. But Santa, he's real, isn't he? Of course he is. That's why I sell Santa cookies. Do me a favor? Don't tell my mommy I know "real news" is fake. It makes her happy so I'll go alo

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

'On a sad note, 14 clowns perished when their vehicle...'

Pop star weather report.

'Inspectors found the latest bomb blast wasn't terrorism; it was a school science fair project gone wrong.'

'We've found a woman claiming she has not had sex with Tiger Woods...for at least three months!'

"That's right. A real war with real victims and real casualties. Unfortunately The War of Withering Sarcasm wasn't one of those sexy wars the media likes to report on."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Trump! The Musical

What's normal?

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"You know, there are other emojis."

Putin and Zelensky

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The Snarky District

How am I abducting?

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

On the brink.