News Parody Fan Gifts

'And now the news in briefs.'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"The Eggsorcist"

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Emergency Hipster Beard

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

Sock Puppet in Literature

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Spam in Hell.

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Fiscal cliff

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Pop star weather report.

Lawyers On A Plane.

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

'I wouldn't have agreed to let you write your own wedding vows if I knew you were just going to copy the lyrics to Margaritaville!'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

The Sedentary Dead.

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

Old Yarns