News Parody Fan Gifts

'And now the news in briefs.'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"The Eggsorcist"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Sock Puppet in Literature

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Spam in Hell.

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

The Second Fall of Man.r

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Fiscal cliff

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

Lawyers On A Plane.

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Pop star weather report.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

The Sedentary Dead.

"They did the brunch! They did the monster brunch!"

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"I don't care if he's an endangered species, captain - I'm going to blast him."

Atomic Bear: Part 10

Old Yarns