Science Satire Junkie Gifts

Earth Rotation Project: Spin Doctor Wanted

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."