Science Satire Junkie Pillows

Earth Rotation Project: Spin Doctor Wanted

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

I told you we were late!

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

So You've Cloned Yourself

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'