Talent Show Junkie Gifts

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Dancing with the Star Wars

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Spoiler alert."

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

America's funniest investment scams

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book