Stand-up Fanatic Gifts

Standup Dictator

Cyril Fletcher

Ba - ja - ja -ja - ja! Mexican comedy club

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

Stand-up Romcom

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Applause

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Stephen Fry

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

Chris O'Dowd

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"