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Standup Dictator

Ba - ja - ja -ja - ja! Mexican comedy club

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

Stand-up Romcom

Applause

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

Chris O'Dowd

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

Optometrist Humor