Stand-up Enthusiasts Gifts

Hell's Comedy Club

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: "The Difference Between Us." You're all half a century younger than me

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

Stephen Harper riffs on prorogation.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Dog Walking Services

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Stand-up Romcom

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Deer Season Open.