Stand-up Comedy Lovers Gifts

The secret world of Stephen Harper...

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

Children's Parties

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

The Rooster Comedian.

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Stand-up Romcom

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'