Stand-up Comedy Fans Gifts

'Rush Limbaugh said not to donate to Haiti using the White House link.... So is he guilty of a 'Haiti' crime?'

While you are waiting here are a few jokes to keep you smiling......

"It was DIY that broke up a relationship. I wanted to have sex on my own are you want to do it with me."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Stand-up Romcom

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"That'll be five bucks."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

The First Fire Stick

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Stairlift around cliff face.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Divine Desk Bins

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."