Stage Actor Gifts

'I'm word perfect on every line, but can't for the life me remember in what order the lines come...'

"As much as I love stop motion animation, it just doesn't transfer well to the stage."

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

Archibald Grosvenor

Fairy

"Now she's saying there'll have to be an pre-nuptial agreement."

"I..I've forgotten my line! Please read forward and return to me later!"

'Psst, Penelope, that's your cue!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Greek theatre masks.

"You have a mouse named Juliet."

"I haven't had the heart to tell him vaudeville's dead."

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'