Stage Performer Gifts

Gerald sensed that more than just his reputation was riding on the success of the presentation.

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

"And now I'd like to pick a member of the audience so I can look clever and they can look stupid"

Campaign rally.

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Normally she wouldn't say boo to a goose!

Midsummer Night's Dream

'I just cant do it...the script says enter stage left and I'm a Conservative.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

"You'd better stand back now: This is going to be a mighty roar..."

"Don't you think this is a bit much for the first lesson."

"I'm so nervous – my cat is here to see the play."

You're supposed to simulate it!

'As your realtor I felt it was important to stage your house.'

Actor looks at script called The Sandi Toksvig Story. He says: 'It's not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to play the Dane.'

Karataoke

"He's the best Elvis impersonator I've seen!"

Pink.

Al Murray

Jack Black

Dancer burps in front of the panel.

Panto cow motivation.

'Listen - if I can survive Antarctica, I can survive Hollywood.'

'RADA? Take a sweeping left here, a dramatic right at the road-works and it's stage left at the lights, luvvie.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

Lucia is further maddened by the early departure of a subscriber in a sports jacket.

Tina Turner

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner