Stage Performances Gifts

Stage Manager: 'Is THERE a BETTER ACTOR in the House?!'

Oklahoma! "Never mind the farmer and the cowman, reconcile the performer and the latecomer then I'll be impressed!"

"It's Cinderella?!?"

Modern Major General

Stage Realism

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"Ok - when we get to the freeway I'll drive!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

'Is there a doctor in the audience, or preferably a handsome actor who can play a doctor?'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Just be yourself."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Theatre Crowd

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Mikado

Senta jumps into the sea

Scarpia from Tosca

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Silly wig.

A man taking a bow

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Tina Turner

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore