Theatrical Performances Gifts

"Of course, now that my assistant has passed away this isn't nearly as exciting."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Tut and Carmen.

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Guitarist

Herman Mankiewicz

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"When is my next parole hearing?"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."