Stage Productions Gifts

"The opening night is always a bit special!"

"Just be yourself."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Modern Major General

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Scarpia from Tosca

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Theatre Crowd

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Falstaff

Karataoke

Freddie Mercury

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Tina Turner

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Magic Tricks

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Jeff Beck.

Midsummer Night's Dream