Stage Productions T-Shirts

"The opening night is always a bit special!"

"Just be yourself."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Modern Major General

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Scarpia from Tosca

Theatre Crowd

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Falstaff

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Tina Turner

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Magic Tricks

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers