Stage Production T-Shirts

"Well, that's show business."

"Just be yourself."

Stage Door

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'They all want to play the star.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Modern Major General

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Falstaff

Theatre Crowd

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Scarpia from Tosca

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Tina Turner

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Magic Tricks

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists