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Falstaff

"Just be yourself."

'They all want to play the star.'

Southwark Fair.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Reginald Bunthorne

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

Mikado

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"It's a play on words."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Woman crying with happiness.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Stephen Fry

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

Cygnets from Swan Lake

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Orchestra conductor

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Mensa Does Improv

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Waving from Behind the Curtain

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Music Hall Dancers

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

'I'm a star!'

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Moon

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd