Stage Plays T-Shirts

"Page 33, line 4..."

Audience Participation

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Just be yourself."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Modern Major General

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Scarpia from Tosca

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Tina Turner

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Magic Tricks

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'