Stage Acting Gifts

Godot - Retard Indetermine

Ventriloquist's fete

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Pirate

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

'Hamlet'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

Theatre Masks and Butts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Cut!

Joan Hickson

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

Taking a peek at the audience

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'