Stage Artist Gifts

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

'I've lost my voice...'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'They all want to play the star.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Extreme miming"

Pirate

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Modern Major General

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Scarpia from Tosca

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Woman crying with happiness.

Cygnets from Swan Lake

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Tina Turner

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Magic Tricks

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore