Stadium Performer Gifts

Soccer Fans.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Mikado

Senta jumps into the sea

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Karataoke

Freddie Mercury

Tina Turner

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Magic Tricks

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Jeff Beck.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Robbie Williams

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."