Stadium Comedian Gifts

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Alternative fielding positions

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

Magic Act