Stadium Worker Gifts

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

'We should have called weeks ago.'

Stereotypical vendor.

Church for sports worshipers.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Official Team Cap With Beard

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Football supporters.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

Football player has head instead of ball.

Fan-Centric Stadium

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"Is there anybody there?"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.