Stadium Staff Gifts

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"Peanuts! Working for peanuts and without proper benefits here!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Multi-tasking.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World's Easiest Airport

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Employee of the Month Parking

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

The Scanner Of Love.

Busy office.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Disinformation booth.

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'