Stadium Employee Gifts

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

Football supporters.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Is there anybody there?"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Football Stadium

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

The stilt walkers union on strike

Soccer Fans.

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

Stadium usher of the month.

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'Run for it, Vince! They've got us on the jumbotron!!'

Dunk Hunt

Football Pitch Line Markings.

The Ultimate Luggage Carousel.

"I ran out of quarters."

"There's still room in the southern stand."

"Just our luck, out of all the seats we get the ones in front of the whooping cranes!"