Ground Staff Gifts

The Ultimate Luggage Carousel.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Multi-tasking.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Yardless: Please help

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

The World's Easiest Airport

TSA Noah

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

Busy office.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

Disinformation booth.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'