Ground Staff Gifts

The Ultimate Luggage Carousel.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Yardless: Please help

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

TSA Noah

The World's Easiest Airport

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

The Scanner Of Love.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Disinformation booth.