Groundkeeper Gifts

Extra Long-jump

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Yardless: Please help

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Pointing.

Employee of the Month Parking

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"Must get a longer cable."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Clearing the castle's moat.

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'I work at the airport.'

Beware of the Undergrowth.

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

Mask Autumn

'Ben, you don't know how nice it is to be hunting with you, especially after fishing with you.'

Turd golf...

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

Neighbors blowing leaves that are blown back at them.

'How long did you say it was 'til trout season?'

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

'Want to squeeze a lifetime of hunting into one day? Go with Ben!'

'Ben won a blue ribbon in a field trial. He hasn't been the same since.'

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."