Groundskeeping Gifts

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

Football Pitch Line Markings.

Plant Lady

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Yardless: Please help

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Pointing.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Employee of the Month Parking

"I had to skip my workout."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Bathroom Fairy

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Must get a longer cable."

The household cavalry

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

I'm organizing the house. Can I help? Do you have any storage bins for stuff we don't use very often? Hold on. I have just the thing! Thanks, mom.

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Clearing the castle's moat.

Extra Long-jump

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."