Groundskeeping Gifts

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

Football Pitch Line Markings.

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Plant Lady

Yardless: Please help

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Pointing.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

Employee of the Month Parking

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Bathroom Fairy

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Must get a longer cable."

The household cavalry

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Clearing the castle's moat.

Extra Long-jump

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."