Ground Control Personnel Gifts

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Yardless: Please help

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Employee of the Month Parking

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

Europe and immigration.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Must get a longer cable."

"The club scene is really changing."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Graffiti on guard's horse

Viva Belarus!

Private Viewing

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

Clearing the castle's moat.

Extra Long-jump

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

Party-Crashing Ban

The Cashless Society is Here

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.