Amusement Park Staff Gifts

Rollercoaster is horizontal circle. Man on the ride says: 'Damn those Health & Safety guys.'

Follow That Car!

Turn right, go two feet, hit red car

'Wheeeee!'

'When it starts going down real fast put your arms up!'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Happy Hour

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

Closed for Renovation

Giraffe Rollercoaster

The hall of bad ideas.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

In the art gallery

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

"He's left out the staples"

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Killer whale with dead trainer

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

Modigliani's Giraffe

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

"Is there anybody there?"

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Damien Hirst Cafe

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.