Casino Staff Gifts

'Sir, would you please come with us?'

"Never seen a cow before?"

'Sorry, this machine only takes small bills.'

'Me lost, I come in peace.'

'And then it came to me out of the blue--I could quit while I was ahead!'

"Your room has been comped."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I'd like a round table!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'