Casino Worker Gifts

Slot machine.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

Lemon slot machine.

'Me invent the wheel!'

"Me no invent wheel to be used for this!"

'Do you have a backup plan?'

Casino Banking

'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'

Tonto Casino.

Gamblers' Anonymous - 'We've taken on 5 new members of staff.'

'Actually I'd rather sir had used a conventional cigarette lighter!'

A planet like ours - Bandit machine in a reactor.

'There's no light-touch regulation here.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

Monkeys and Slot Machines.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Casino: 'Ka-plop...Ka-ching'.

'No. It's a roll of quarters.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Place your bets! Place your bets!"

"I call it, 'wheel'. I spin it, drop this pebble, and if you don't guess where it stops, I take your stuff."

"My, Tonto - those chocolates sure look tasty."

'I'm glad there's finally a good place to go for online poker.'

"I can't even deal."

The pit boss and the pendulum

A plumber pulls cash out from the sewer near a casino.

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

'Well, that's 3 of my 7-a-day.'

'This slot machine is really outdated.'

Down On My Luck

'Why don't you bail yourself out by trying to hit the jackpot at a casino...like everyone else?'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

A funeral parlor next to a casino has a sign saying 'Cash In Your Chips Here.'