Casino Worker Gifts

Slot machine.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

Lemon slot machine.

'Me invent the wheel!'

"Me no invent wheel to be used for this!"

'Do you have a backup plan?'

Casino Banking

'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'

Tonto Casino.

Gamblers' Anonymous - 'We've taken on 5 new members of staff.'

'Actually I'd rather sir had used a conventional cigarette lighter!'

A planet like ours - Bandit machine in a reactor.

'There's no light-touch regulation here.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

Monkeys and Slot Machines.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Casino: 'Ka-plop...Ka-ching'.

'No. It's a roll of quarters.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Place your bets! Place your bets!"

'I'm glad there's finally a good place to go for online poker.'

"I can't even deal."

The pit boss and the pendulum

A plumber pulls cash out from the sewer near a casino.

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

'This slot machine is really outdated.'

Down On My Luck

'Why don't you bail yourself out by trying to hit the jackpot at a casino...like everyone else?'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

A funeral parlor next to a casino has a sign saying 'Cash In Your Chips Here.'

Casino's new air filtration system is way too strong.

'He was playing video poker, the Jacks were wild, and I guess he got too close.'

"The longer we can keep them gambling, the more they lose."