Gambling Industry Worker Gifts

'Pickpocket is an outside bet...left purse on bus is favourite!' (Security at the races on the phone over a reported missing purse).

"Business is slow. Everyone gets their bookies online now."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Little league world series of poker.

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Bribes for Jabs

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

Dog in casino.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Stag poker"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Updated History: "Pokerhantas and John Smith." I'll call you bet and raise ten bucks.

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.