Professional Gambler Gifts

Card players play with huge mirrors behind their opponents cards to see their hands.

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'I'm glad there's finally a good place to go for online poker.'

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

-Are you working, hambone? -Of course I am, do you think picking winners is childs play?

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Dog in casino.

'Oh yeh, Trev's still trying to scratch a living.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Tonto Casino.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Doctor's poker.

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Will you make the final table?'

'We need further instruction, your honor. Does a full house beat a straight?'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'