Senior Gambler Gifts

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Senior PGA Moment.

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Doctor's poker.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'Will you make the final table?'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

"Don't get exited Tommy, it isn't an A. I was just trying to get my pen to work, it's a D minus as usual."

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

'Double or nothing on the second opinion, Doc?'

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

Every Night is Over 60's Night

Slug roulette.