Serial Gambler Gifts

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Dog in casino.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Will you make the final table?'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

'I thought she'd never leave.'

"Trevor's nose is running."

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

'He's a plumber, yet you bet him he couldn't break 100, using a plunger as his putter?'

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'Is that a roll of pound coins?'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"

'Those two are going at it with hammer and tongs.'

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

'I'm glad there's finally a good place to go for online poker.'

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'