Die-hard Gambler Gifts

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'Will you make the final table?'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Maybe substituting chocolate cookies for poker chips wasn't such a good idea.

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

"Trevor's nose is running."

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

Slug roulette.

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!