Gambling Devotee Gifts

"Trevor's nose is running."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Destination casinos...

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'Will you make the final table?'

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Maybe substituting chocolate cookies for poker chips wasn't such a good idea.

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

"we may need to buy you a new hula hoop."

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

'Alright, alright, you've won your bet: You can lift me with one hand...'

Why dogs can't play poker: 'For the last time...the kitty stays in the middle of the table.'

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

A Good Bet.

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'