Faithful Gambler Gifts

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Monks play conkers with crucifix

The church of our lady of wall street.

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Will you make the final table?'

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

Guardian Angels and Operations

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

"Trevor's nose is running."

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

Vicar carrying a games console called a 'PrayStation 3'.

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Slug roulette.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."