Spiritual Gambler Gifts

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Golfing with God.

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Thanks God!

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

"Trevor's nose is running."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

Good and Evil: The Human Video Game

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

'You won't need those up here. He can't stand golf.'

He dropped ten quid.

"...I know it's Monday morning, but I'm too tired for work!"

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

Hop-scotching monk.

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

Gambling in Heaven - Losing your halo.

'I chose the jockeys wearing the prettiest colours and I'm doing better than him!'

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

'THis is where the boys used to gamble. By the looks of things, they lost a lot more than just their shirts.'

"The longer we can keep them gambling, the more they lose."

Speculators

A lucky bloke finds a winning lottery ticket, just as a meteor is about to hit him - 'Wow, a winning lottery ticket! What are the odds?'