Spiritual Dabbler Gifts

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

2pm meet your Creator

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Free why-fi.”

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

I am one with stupid.

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

The Screeeen!

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

Leaves Falling in Heaven.

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'Thank you for calling the guru. If you want the meaning of life, press one. If you want the significance of the Universe, press two. If you want....'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'