Spiritual Dabbler Pillows

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

2pm meet your Creator

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

I am one with stupid.

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

"Free why-fi.”

"Holy water, holy water...."

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"He's mad at God."

The Screeeen!

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

Leaves Falling in Heaven.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'Thank you for calling the guru. If you want the meaning of life, press one. If you want the significance of the Universe, press two. If you want....'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'