Mystical Dabbler Pillows

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Socially distanced sledding

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'What was the question?'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'Awhile back I wouldn't tell what I read. I'm ready now...I read Tea Leaves.'

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Man sees sign at fortune teller featuring mind reading and mind boggling

DANGER - hook and worm...!

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

"Unfortunately polishing my mouse isn't as relaxing sharpening my pencils."

When God works online.

"Lord, Satan rejected this fireman. What shall we do with him?

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"