Digital Dabbler Pillows

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"I thought if I acted and dressed young and cool, learning technology would be easier. But that hasn't been the case."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Happening Now

The Screeeen!

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Unfortunately polishing my mouse isn't as relaxing sharpening my pencils."

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

"It seems the only thing he can't remember is his password. I get tired of looking it up for him."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Socially distanced sledding

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'What was the question?'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui