Doctrinal Dabbler Pillows

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

"When I evolve I'm going to be an elephant."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'What was the question?'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"Theologian? You guys are always fun."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

Papa Ratzi

"That's just so God."

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

"Yeah, the internet's full of information, but after a day broadening my superficial knowledge of casual interests, who has time to think?

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

'Awhile back I wouldn't tell what I read. I'm ready now...I read Tea Leaves.'

Priests/Vicars/Ministers.

Riddle behind the mask

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'