Divine Digital Dabbler Gifts

When God works online.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'We've re-branded.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Socially distanced sledding

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

U R Here

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'Awhile back I wouldn't tell what I read. I'm ready now...I read Tea Leaves.'

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

'Father, I think the Lord has forsaken me, all I get is his voicemail.'

'I'm not convinced hunting is an improvement on gathering.'

Genetically enhanced height

The God's football

'Uh oh....perhaps not Heaven.'