Strategic Gambler Gifts

'I chose the jockeys wearing the prettiest colours and I'm doing better than him!'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

Post Game Day Betting.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"It's baaaack!"

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

A bet over spelling

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

'I should have stuck to my hunch, to stay at home.'

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

A manager yells through a window at a couple of employees 'Just switch places ok? I've got a corporate lunch riding on this!'