Stock Market Gambler Gifts

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"Those were the days - no global warming, terrorism or giant tsunamis. And best of all, you could pick stocks by throwing a dart on the wall."

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

'I put money in the stock market and now I don't have any to put in the supermarket.'

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

Robert Macaire as a Stockbroker

"I put all my money into swimsuit manufacturing stock and went bankrupt...can I sue myself for being stupid enough to believe in global warming?"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Put all our money in corporate stocks.

My bullish strategy was given a bum steer.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

Wall Street Down

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

'Aren't corporate raiders getting increasingly aggressive?'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Doctors appointment.

Low-Rent Stockholders